TAKING THE LEAP
About a year ago, I remember I was getting ready for work doing my hair and praying, when God spoke clearly to my heart:
"I want you to go freelance."
My heart started pounding and my eyes filled with tears- I was full of fear. It was the scariest thing ever to think about that. Freelance was something I had thought about a long time ago, but it was something that was far from reach at that moment. The doubts and questions came all at once, and I began to reply with excuses, "But I'm not ready to do that." "Lord, I don't have any equipment!" "I don't have any networks" "No one even knows about me." "Who would hire me?" "I'm not good enough." "Who's going to pay me?" "We don't have any savings." "It's too risky."
From that moment I hit my knees and started praying. I prayed for confirmation just about every day- and He did confirm it, over and over again. For months I was praying for confirmation, for faith, and for timing. Timing was the thing that I struggled with the most. Once I was on board to go freelance, my instinct was to GO NOW. I wanted to quit my job right away and start moving! But I was hitting walls, and when I went to prayer about when to go freelance, I didn't get a response.
So I kept waiting... I kept praying.
Months later, Frank and I decided to become licensed Foster Parents. After we went through months of classes, we got licensed. And at that point things started lining up- I knew that I wanted to be available to our future foster kids, I wanted to be able to work from home and have a flexible schedule when the kids needed extra attention and time. So going freelance made sense, and all the pieces came together.
I've been a full time freelancer now for just over 2 months, and even now, it's so awesome to see God's faithfulness. I took the jump into freelance with no idea how we were going to meet our bills, we weren't going to make it just on Frank's income. It was nerve-wrecking to some degree, but after praying about it for over 7 months, God had filled me with peace about it. He's been so good to us! Freelance work started to slowly but surely come in, and it seemed so easy. When you're in God's will, things will work out so seamlessly- it will feel easy. I've done freelance before when it was clearly not from the Lord, and it felt so forced, I kept hitting wall after wall.
At this point, my prayer is to be used only for His glory. Whatever it is that the Lord has in store for my filmmaking, I want Him to lead it and direct it. I can't WAIT to see what happens.